Category: Inner Critic

Famous Failures – Stephen King

Who comes to mind when you think of famous authors? To readers and non-readers alike, Stephen King will almost always show up near the top of everyone’s list.

Why does everyone know his name?

Stephen King exemplifies the sort of success story every author dreams of. Not only are his books popular, but many of them have been adapted quite successfully for television and as movies. He’s known all around the world as being one of the great storytellers of the weird and creepy.

So, what’s his story? And how does his story apply to yours?

Stephen King was a writer at heart all the way back to his school days when he used to scribble out short stories for his friends. Writing wasn’t his original career ambition, though. He’d set out to become a teacher, and only resorted to writing when he couldn’t find a job in his field.

However, writing didn’t come easily either. When writing his first novel, Carrie, he was plagued with massive self-doubt – so much so he threw away his initial attempts. But with the encouragement of those around him, he went on to finish the book, got it published and watched as it turned into a great success.

Too much success.

The stress of having to produce another book when his first had proven so popular caused Stephen King to question himself further. He didn’t feel he was equal to the task and started drinking heavily. This was the beginning of a struggle with alcoholism that would nearly ruin him.

In the end, he persevered. He forced himself to seek out help for the problems holding him back. He didn’t let alcoholism destroy him and went on to achieve significant accomplishments. Now he’s one of the most recognized authors in the world. He has sold more than 350 million books worldwide, has published 63 novels (including 7 published under the pen name Richard Bachman), 5 non-fiction books and written more than 200 short stories.

Stephen King’s story is important because it addresses a malady that many people, regardless of profession, fall victim to. It is that prevailing belief that we are not good enough. Most everyone has moments where they feel like they’re not good enough at something. Sometimes they resort to unhealthy ways of dealing with the pressure when they feel like they can’t perform to some unattainable standard set by themselves or by those who influence them. Some people, much like Stephen King, resort to drugs or alcohol to cope when it all seems too much.

What we need to remember is this: We are more capable than we think. No matter how far we’ve fallen, no matter how much we feel like we can’t…we CAN. It may not be easy, but we must make the decision to get up and keep going. We need to write that next word, we need to put in that next hour of work, we need to try one more time until we achieve what we would have called impossible only a short time ago.

5 Tips for Getting a Grip on Self-Doubt

Did you know that a whopping 85 percent of people have low self-esteem to some degree? This issue can affect our personal and professional lives, including our careers, our health, and even our salaries. In other words, self-doubt and low self-esteem can keep us from reaching our peak potential.

Low self-esteem is a personality trait that often develops in childhood and either exacerbates or diminishes with time. If self-doubt plagues you, read on to learn how to get a grip on this potentially debilitating issue.

Know You’re Not Alone

Even the most successful people have doubts every now and again. They may find themselves questioning their actions and wondering what the right thing is to do. How do they harness those doubts?

It helps to focus on building your confidence and self-esteem. You might never get rid of your doubts entirely, but you can stop them from taking over your life. Here are five tips you can use to help determine when to listen to the inner voice of self-doubt.

Accept Yourself

Self-doubt is part of being human. Embrace it and turn it into a strength. When used correctly, this personality trait can help you make better decisions. It can cause you to give pause before making an impulsive decision. Think of it as a tool that guides your actions and keeps you from making costly mistakes. I view self-doubt as one aspect of our inner voice.

Just make sure you are making the conscious decision when to listen to your inner voice and when to ignore it. If you allow it to have unfettered influence over you, it can become detrimental to your well-being and success. Unbridled, self-doubt can make you question your sanity and decision-making abilities.

Get the Facts

Your doubts don’t necessarily reflect the truth. Most times, they mirror your fears and emotional struggles. If not challenged, they can convince you are, and have always been, a failure. But that isn’t the truth, is it? Think about your achievements and how hard you worked to get where you are today. Be proud of yourself and admire your capabilities.

Whenever doubt arises, get the facts straight. Don’t act on incomplete information. Research the issue in question, weigh the pros and cons of possible responses, and don’t hesitate to seek the guidance of trusted friends and associates.

Acknowledge Your Strengths

Make a list of things you excel in. Write down your skills and accomplishments. Accept praise from others gracefully and acknowledge your talent.

Celebrate your strengths every single day. Make positive affirmations and remind yourself how much you’ve done so far. Stop thinking of what you could have done better and focus instead on the positive things. In other words, don’t beat yourself up – build yourself up!

Often, your inner critic may tell you that you are incapable of accomplishing a certain task or goal. If you are acutely aware of your past successes, you can immediately counter your inner critic with examples of when you were successful in the past in accomplishing this task or goal or something similar.

Choose Your Friends Wisely

Negative people can drag you down and ruin your self-esteem. Nothing will ever be good enough for them. That’s why it’s so important to surround yourself with positive people who support you and listen to you instead of judging.

Do you best to limit your exposure to toxic individuals. Some you cannot avoid entirely because they are co-workers or family. However, you can still control how much time you allow yourself to be exposed to their venomous talk.

Define Your Values

Lastly, define the values you live by daily. Having a clear set of life values will provide you with a filter you can use to determine if your inner voice is helping or hurting you. They will enable you to have a more realistic perspective of your current situation which will in turn allow you to determine the validity of what your inner voice is saying. Focus on the thoughts and attitudes that drive your actions, move you forward toward your goals and are at the core of your beliefs.

Overcoming self-doubt and taming your inner critic is a lifelong process. Learn to tame your inner critic so it isn’t questioning every decision. Don’t allow your inner critic and self-doubt to cause you to waste time and energy overanalyzing every situation along with your possible responses. Instead, build your self-confidence and learn to trust your decisions. Then, act and put your plans in motion.

To learn more about taming your inner critic, visit my Life Coaching website.